T-3 Days

AMTRAK TO NEW YORK

This has been years in the making. I'm nervous, excited, scared, and have no idea what to expect. It still hasn't fully hit me that this is actually happening, but day by day it's dawning on me. I'm gonna be away from home, from any home, for five months. My backpack is my life. I'm strangely unanticipatory - I have a vague sense that something big is about to happen, but when I think about what the next five months are going to be like, my mind draws a blank. I think that's probably a good thing. I really have no idea what this is going to be like, and it's probably best to just take it day by day, instead of planning and anticipating too much. I'm gonna circumnavigate the globe. See the world. It doesn't matter too much what I think is out there, I'm going to find out.

I've got my shpiel down by now. What are you doing? Oh, well, Europe for two months, then the Trans-Siberian from Moscow through Mongolia into China, then taking the train through Vietnam and Cambodia into Thailand. Then I fly home. It's always fun to see how flabbergasted people sometimes get. This whole thing was surprisingly easy to pull off. Some research, some tickets, some visas, a few months work and a generous parental stipend was all it took.

This year has ripped me apart, and I've struggled to put myself back together. Shayne, the campaign, the depression, they all forced me to ask myself what is happiness, and how can a person achieve it in this world? I still don't know the answer. Throughout the year, I've been suffering for this moment. I gave up so much to be here. An exciting college experience, a sense of security, free time, friends. This trip started as a desire to get out of high school, to do something exciting and see something new. Now all I want is a sense of security. Maybe this will be a good experience in a different way - maybe I'll learn to achieve that sense of comfort and security from myself, and not my habits and surroundings. Who the hell knows.

What I do know is that this will be an exhilarating vacation. I think right now maybe a relaxing vacation is what I need, but I wouldn't dare pass this up. Hell, maybe I'll take a week on the Riviara. That'll be fun. :)

I'm packed (god my backpack's heavy), nearly have all my visas, and I'm just now beginning to realize how crazy this is, but it will be good for me, and I'll have a great time. Check here for stories from the trail. Eastward Bound!